Your most marked characteristic?

Resilience, I think.

I used to have a birthmark in the shape of the number 14 but it disappeared. Does that count?

The quality you most like in a man?

Loyalty. (Or is it that they can shave their heads to hide baldness and still persuade women that it’s cool.)

The quality you most like in a woman?

Intelligence. (Or the fact that knowing men as they do they still tolerate us.)

What do you most value in your friends?

What friends? The ability to look and see the real you even when you are a jerk.

What is your principle defect?

The dwindling savings account, oh, wait, the ability to delude myself.

What is your favorite occupation?

Enjoying boat drinks on someone else’s yacht. Ok, hum, writing, thinking.

What is your dream of happiness?

A time machine or sunrise with a great cup of coffee and knowing I have done all I can do to be at peace with my world.

What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?

You mean other than the leisure suit? I guess then I would have to say, the inability to learn and change.

What would you like to be?

A pampered cat, a grass rolling dog or maybe me, only better.

In what country would you like to live?

One that has free food! But then again, perhaps one that does not have a government that acts as nanny to the citizens. “May I have some trans-fat with that Marlboro?”

What is your favorite color?

Ecru, really it is the new brown.

What is your favorite flower?

Martha White, okay, coneflower.

Who are your favorite prose writers?

What’s a prose? Would “Peanuts” count?

Who are your favorite poets?

John Donne, Baudelaire. (I copied that from Proust, hehehe.)

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?

Albus Dumbledore or maybe W. (I mean he can’t be real.)

Who are your favorite heroines of fiction?

Hermione Granger or that chick in all the romance novels.

Who are your favorite composers?

John Lennon or Brian Wilson, and of course, Joe Green.

Who are your favorite painters?

Monet and the guy who drew the pirates on the back of matchbook covers.

Who are your heroes in real life?

Are you kidding? I have seen people up close and personal, there are no heroes.

Who are your favorite heroines of history?

See above.

What are your favorite names?

Earl, Ruby, Clyde and any name combined with the last name Hunkapillar or Smoot.

What is it you most dislike?

That question! The IRS! And them!

What historical figures do you most despise?

Too many people, too little time.

What natural gift would you most like to possess?

Turning water into wine. It would be such a savings.

How would you like to die?

Falling off a high cliff, then doing a Wyle E. Coyote, stand up wipe off the dust and do something else stupid. Maybe without pain is another way.

What is your present state of mind?

This is my brain, this is an egg, don’t put brain in a frying pan.

To what faults do you feel most indulgent?

Trusting that others are as smart as I am or as dumb as I am, whichever comes first.

What is your motto?

Motto, I don’t need no stinking motto!

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